You made it look easy

You're the reason I keep stalling.
You're the reason I keep falling.
You're the reason I am crawling.
You're the reason I keep calling.

You're the reason I'm broken inside.
Taped together to stop my cries.
You made it so easy to leave my side.
You made it look easy to forget my eyes.

There was a turning point I thought I could make,
I watched for you to turn but you weren't even awake.
You never looked back, not even a fake.
I prayed for you to care, but there was nothing at stake.

I chased after you instead. It made me look weak.
Desperate even, the outlook seemed bleak.

I didn't care.

I hugged you and you didn't hug me back.
I apologised though I did nothing wrong.
I thought this was the moment where we could fix all the bad.
But this was just the moment where everything was gone.

It was always me, asking and wanting.
It was always me, pushing and prodding.
You didn't make an effort, you didn't want to stay.
The signs were all there but I looked the other way.

I chased after you, but it didn't seem fair.

The truth was, you just...
                                                              didn't care.

silence

For us,
Silence was everything.
We didn't fill it with just anything  
Only the most important and
Precious things.
We filled our silence with
Our heartbeats
Our breaths
The sound the rain made outside as it hits the Ground.
We didn't need noise
Or clutter
Or meaningless babble.
We only needed silence.
And in that, we told each other
Everything.
It filled the spaces between us
And between the gaps in our hearts
And around our rib cages
And filled the spaces in our heads where
We didn't know there were spaces before.
Our silence spoke to us
And it revealed our souls.
It revealed us.

sweet senses

I like the taste of brewed coffee to heighten my senses each morning.
I like the taste of your tongue as it mixes with mine.

I like the smell of a freshly peeled mandarin as it clings to my fingers.
I like the smell of your cologne hanging onto your skin.

I like the touch of my warm coat as I throw it over my shoulders.
I like the touch of your hands underneath it that chill me to my core.

I like the sound of my favourite song coming on the radio.
I like the sound of you calling Bye, Darling to me as I leave.

I like the look of the sun rising, slowly getting brighter as I drive on.
I like the look of you standing there, ruffled hair and pants hanging low.

I like the feeling I get when I think of you, when I think of coming home to you.
I like the feeling you give me when I know I'll see you soon.

Every morning and every evening, for the rest of our lives.

Good morning, Darling.

History Repeats

I'm stuck on repeat
I'm losing my nerve
I wish that you had me
instead of this girl
I'm doing it wrong
It doesn't make sense
I wish I had you and
that life made sense

History repeats
I'm doing it wrong
again and again
I keep going along
full of regrets
tell me the price
I've ruined it all
give me advice

If history repeats
if history is wrong
I'll make it again
I'll go it alone
I'm stuck on repeat
I'm losing my nerve
if history repeats
i'll be out on the curb.